1. Yesterday in the grocery store: “unsmoked joints”

2. A week ago in staff conversation: “where can I get some rubbers?” “There are lots of them in the cabinet in the front office. Help yourself.”

3. Last time I was here in my words… oops: “Wait just a moment. I need to go get my fanny pack.”

4. I’ve been trying to be really good at this one, but slipped up in talking about my murder mystery costume: “I think I’m just going to wear some black pants tonight. Does that sound okay?” (insert here shocked and then bemused faces of my housemates)

5. Last time I was here, in the words of a vollie: “I’m dying to suck a fag.” (insert my shocked and confused face and a quick sputtering of explanation on his part…)

6. Last week at Dunsmeorach, conversation between my housemates: “We’re going out. You coming?” “Yeah! I’m just going to get my glad rags on first, though.”

And now the keys to those conversations, in case you need them… rubber = eraser, fanny does not equal bum, joint = a cut of meat, fag = cigarette, glad rags = dressy clothes, and, of course, pants = underwear.